halfway

the trees looked nice from the windows--tufts of gold and ruby splayed across the landscape. part of me wishes i wasn't alone and that this wasn't just a layover. i've never been to north carolina before, and it seems a shame that the only thing i'll get to experience is the airport. i'll take comfort in knowing i can someday return--i've heard the beaches are lovely.

beyond that, i'm exhausted. i didn't sleep at all last night. what with mom surprising me with this sudden flight and my uneasiness about leaving new york, i was restless. i always get jittery before going to the airport and flying, though. i have horrible nerves when it comes to airports.

i'm excited to be home. there's peace that comes with it. it's not going to be easy, and i know this. i'll be working just as hard as i was in new york. but at least, at home, i'll be with people who i know love and care for me. thanksgiving will feel like thanksgiving and christmas will feel like christmas. i'll see the oil-paint sunsets and stars in the dead of night. texas air is different, somehow.

the plane is pulling up to the gate now. i've always wondered: how does the luggage system work? it'd be so easy to lose a passenger's luggage between flights. (that's something else i'm nervous about--i forgot to put my jewelry in my carry-on.) also, why do other airlines keep buying out other airlines? it seems like everything's merging in one way or another.

my thoughts are all over the place, and this post is the farthest thing from poetic. i'm just tired. i'm always tired.